3 Homes

Endurance over Enthusiasm

Most real change doesn't happen over night - we need to have endurance, as well as enthusiasm, if we want to make our 3 Homes nicer places to live.

5 min read

Hello Darling,

Thanks for taking the time with me to reflect on making our 3 Homes nicer places to live. Making anything better takes change, and change takes time. 

For some changes, it may be quite simple or quick to achieve, but most will involve giving yourself the space, time, energy and grace to develop the habits that will drive the happy, healthy, fulfilled lifestyle you want.

Evolving as a person happens over your whole lifetime. There’s no rush to become the next version of yourself. You don’t need to look for a magic pill or quick fix because you can choose to dedicate yourself and your resources to making lasting and meaningful changes. You don’t need to let any pressure come onto you from others or society - live life on your own terms and spend your time the way that works toward who you want to be and the kind of 3 Homes you want to live in - today and as future you.

Make Your Choices Out of Hope

Nelson Mandela said “May your choices reflect your hopes, not your fears” and I encourage you to consider this as well as you work toward nicer places to live in your Body, your Mind and your World.

When we orient ourselves around positive outcomes for ourselves, our society and our environment, it allows us to focus on improving instead of avoiding. Try to have a healthier body because it will feel good to take care of your wellbeing, not because you think others will like you more if you look a certain way. Try to make habits and root your identity in the things that make you happy, not in things that you think will help you avoid criticism. Try to do good in the world because you value the planet and your fellow human beings, not because it will impress others that you care about the latest cause.

Make your choices out of hope and you will be more encouraged to move forward and less likely to doubt yourself and your motivation for change.

Be Bold in Starting Over

Many of us hold tensions within ourselves because there are parts of us that are operating off of someone else’s blueprints. We have internalized versions of ourselves that have been accepted by other people and so we keep using them to please others, instead of making choices that feel right for us.

Maybe you want to eat a vegetarian diet, but no one else you live with does and you know they would make fun of you if you started. Maybe you have always wanted to try a hobby that seems incongruent with who people know you to be - kick boxing or painting or baking or nail art or travel… Maybe you want to volunteer with animals but you don’t have a lot of experience. Maybe you have a part of your identity that you’ve been hiding because it may cause a rift with family and friends.

When you’re ready to start making these changes, don’t be afraid. You are starting from a place of experience, even if it’s indirect. Knowing that you don’t like something and wanting to move away from it can be as important in your journey as moving toward something that is more true for you.

Endurance over Enthusiasm

Above all else, when it comes to change, it’s important to keep going. Nothing changes if nothing changes. So you have to keep working at it until the new habit is formed, or the schedule fully shifts, or the negative monologue stops, or the revolution has made steps forward.

It’s easy to get excited about change because you can see the outcome you want very clearly. But remember to try to see that there’s a journey between here and there. It’s not fair to yourself to look at the top of a mountain and just wish you were there. There’s a hike required first - train for it if necessary. Then get on the trail, it’s the only way up. No helicopters can get you there, sometimes there is no shortcut.

Having a solid reason that you want to get to the top will give you a lot of help along the way though - so create a “why” out of hope and then love the process as much as the outcome. The journey will teach you a lot and the summit will be a real victory!

I, like you, want to keep working toward real change in life. I want to take care of my Body, Mind and World and make them nicer places to live. 

Today, make choices out of hope. Keep making new and better habits. Give yourself grace when things aren’t working out as expected. Keep evolving. Hustle Darling.

With love, Jess

A Thought for Your Thoughts:

Take 2 Minutes - Reflect

What do you hope for? Pick one of the 3 Homes - your Body, your Mind or your World - and take two minutes to think about what would make it a nicer place to live. Now, double check yourself. Do you hope for this change because it would mean positive change for you? Or is it because you fear something will happen or someone won’t accept you if you don’t? Be bold enough to make a choice that makes your Home better for you, not to avoid judgement or because you’re afraid it will be difficult.

Take 5 Minutes - Reflect

- Have you been working on a change in your life? How many steps are between you and your goal? 

- Are you being enthusiastic without any endurance? Are there more steps and you need to adjust your expectations to account for more time or energy along the way to your goal? 

-Are you self-sabotaging? Are there actually less steps and you’re putting obstacles in your own way because you’re actually afraid of what this new change will mean for your life? 

Take 5 Minutes to visualize the path between you and the outcome you hope to achieve.

Take Some Time - Recommended Viewing

Change can be difficult, and sometimes it feels like you’re alone in it. Grab some inspiration from real stories of people who made change in at least one of their 3 Homes. Some may be found on your subscription streaming service (or can be rented online - affiliate links). I’ve picked out a few with stories from the last 50 years or so - but there are many more! 

And add to the list! Let the Hustle Darling community know in the comments what stories you go to for inspiring people changing themselves and the world :)